I Can’t Stop Sinning. How to Overcome The Flesh by Self Awareness

I wish I could make this topic short and sweet but it’s usually a long process to learn who and how we really are. Self awareness at a deeper level is vital to overcoming sin.  Jesus lives in us, but how do we Love if we can’t Love ourselves?

Self Healing & obedience to Jesus Starts by Learning Consecrated Meditation in Christ

Mankind in Jesus is able to heal himself. The new age is here and a spiritual shift has happened.  If you do not learn to meditate in Christ by seeking God you may not be able to take advantage of the new blessings, gifts, and supernatural abilities we now have access to.  Pray God for The Baptism of The Holy Spirit Right Now.

To be sure, the church DOES NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE POWER.  Hence “meditation evil” they say.  The advantages of meditation are endless.  Meditation is getting to know oneself and seeking God’s voice.

Meditate daily by prayer first, protect yourself by meditation in Jesus.  Then get comfortable.  Concentrate on one mantra, perhaps the Lord’s Prayer.  Tools help.  Heaven is made up of crystals its biblical.  Wash your crystal in water preferably a natural water source, dip seven times and ask God Himself to cleanse the crystal that can be used for evil or good.

Say the mantra in your mind over and over.  Every time your mind wonders reel it back in to the Lord’s Prayer where you left off and continue focusing on the ONE thing.  Now picture, visualize every line.  See “Our Father who art in Heaven” and see “thy kingdom come”  picture the kingdom.  Visualize every line you say.  Trust me this is much more important than it seems in the natural.

We simply MUST emotionally process our past hurts, fears, trauma and anger

If you have a mind full of distractions and a body that won’t or can’t lie still do not be hard on yourself.  You were NEVER taught how to process out your hard emotions.  You were just taught to suppress them cause they are “bad” which labelled you “bad” also.  That is the LIE OF SATAN to the masses of sheep.

As I did also you most likely need to get repressed anger, pain, fear, out by writing down what is on your heart. Don’t hold back.  YOU HAVE TO FEEL TO HEAL, period.  This is for the people who have been taught to be ashamed of their human nature.

Process by Writing

Go back to your childhood and write out, cry out all the trauma you have repressed.   Work the 12 steps if your serious about getting spiritual with God and want the power of God to flow through you.  Do you want peace?  Work the 12 steps on paper, just use the directions it’s that easy.  Find one of the 12 step books to guide you, I prefer the woman’s way to the 12 steps as its more empathic.  Your fourth step should have all resentments including yourself and God.  You should add all things your ashamed of.  All things especially that you don’t want ANYBODY TO EVER KNOW, EVER.  Your most horrific secrets must be on this list of shame, fear, hate, resentment, and disgust.  Hopefully you have someone you can confess them all to.  Do not use a spouse or anyone on your fourth step for the verbal fifth step of confession.

Work the 12 Steps not just for alcoholics

How serious are you about wanting to have the same miraculous power that Jesus said we shall have?  It takes work.  You must be teachable & have humility to confess and have one person you can tell anything even if its a priest.  If your parents is alcoholic do the steps at ACOA.

Do not allow those in 12 step programs who do not know the process of emotionally healing to tell you this is morbid reflection and there is no point in going back there.  If nothing changes nothing changes.  The source of your dysfunction is in your past.  If must be addressed, embraced, then let go of.

If you have anxiety SCREAM it out.  Crying is a healthy emotion so is screaming out repressed emotions that have taken on a life of their own.   Embrace feelings, examine them, do not push your own heart’s voice away.  Write, write, write.  Write what we call the “F.-You letter” to those who you resent deeply.  (do not send f. you letters to people they are to get out the wrath by writing).

Recognize dysfunctional patterns we call emotional survival skills.

No more projecting onto others for your feelings of hurt.  Yes they can hurt you, reject you, abandon you,  BUT you are responsible for processing the hurt in a healthy way.  See my https:/recoveryfarmhouse.com and .net sites.  Also see my book Paradise for the Hellbound for more healing emotional tools.

The book has a meditation how to chapter for more details and scriptural basis for both meditation and crystals as a tool.  Journal daily.  Keep a diary.  Pray without ceasing.


If you feel a certain way you can bet your a** it’s for a good reason.  Time for you to be validated.  Everything you have experienced in life has meaning and has formed you like a clay pot.  Your feelings are NEVER WRONG.  Fear-NOT WRONG.  They say fear and faith cannot abide in the same body so if you have fear you have no faith…BULLSHIT!  Without fear there is no courage or hope.  Fear is human nature.  We all have it.

Embrace The Storm When emotions flare

Fear is part of the human condition.  Satan takes our human emotions God given and uses media to label them all “BAD & WRONG”.  Hence, we apology for crying.  We hide our fear as if we were evil for it.  We wear a mask and make ourselves sick by status quo peer pressure. Example:  Chicken shit, scaredy cat, pu**y, yellow belly, worm, panzy etc.  These are how we were programmed by media repeatedly as children to perceive our own human nature.  And we wonder why society is so sick.  Wearing the mask of status quo makes us very sick while holding in things that should be ejected.  Holding back and silencing strong feelings is as lethal as holding in urine on going.

Confront Fear and Recover

What am I afraid of?  Fear is usually based in fear of loss.  Sex, Society, and Security the three S’s.

I fear losing my husband to another woman, to someone better than me prettier than me, smarter than me.  I fear losing my job, car, money, stuff etc.  Or I fear looking bad to my peers, I fear looking stupid, looking lesser than etc.  Am I jealous?  Am I envious?  What is my dysfunction?  I am not trusting God.  My heart believes it is “lesser than” because that is what my programming taught me.

I confess to Jesus I do not trust Him fully.  I ask Him to remove my insecurity and my fear that others are all better than me.  God The Father is my security.  He provides NOT the job.  I talk these things over with Father and pray for greater faith and in step four I ask God to remove my patterns of dysfunction to blame others for my own insecurities.

People don’t like looking at themselves and will usually go straight to blame and projection onto others during any kind of emotional upheaval.  True humility is starting the day with knowledge of what my own character defect patterns really are.  Knowing why I have those patterns is even better.

See chapter I wrote on “dream identity” my revelation of dysfunctional fear identity in a dream.

Yes there is a spirit of fear that surpasses healthy fear.  Hopefully you’re not dealing with that.  If you are having panic attacks you need to go to a spirit filled preacher for deliverance, get prayer at the alter call.  The church must have an alter call.  Trust me I know…I had that spirit of fear.  By the laying on of hands and prayer I was delivered from it and never had another panic attack.

Take Care of Your Own Emotional Condition THEN Forgive

Then once you have processed all wrongs suffered on paper…forgive.  But not before processing your true feelings from the heart and validating that you have been neglected emotionally.  Sometimes if parents have abused us we need to send them a letter of our feelings but show respect. Many trauma victims can forgive once they send a letter of their hurts and pains.  This is different than the wrath filled f. you letter to process out repressed anger.  Don’t expect an apology though if you do send a respectful letter of “I was hurt by the invalidation of my own person and feelings by you”.  This is for you to process.  They cannot fix your pain but your and God can. Our parents have no idea how to emotionally and spiritually nurture a child.  They are programmed and clueless.  Pray for those you resent, forgiveness will come by doing so.

Back to The Meditation. Demons Will Depart from You by Resistance.

Then come back to meditation and the mantra.  Practice concentration on one thing over and over and over.  Once you master that you can move on to true meditation.  Keep practicing every day.  Demons will leave just from you forcing the stillness.  irritability demons have to leave, lust demons will leave if you don’t entertain them.  Fear demons will leave when you fill yourself with Jesus.  If you have a sloth demon or a “I don’t want to take a shower” demon SHOCK IT OUT.  Go everyday outside take the water hose and pour cold water over your head and body.  It takes about a month of this but THE DEMON OF HEAVINESS WILL LEAVE.  They HATE cold water and all water for that matter.  This is why you don’t want to shower. A demon of heaviness & sloth abides.    RESIST THE DEVIL AND HE SHALL FLEE.

What I am teaching you is resistance to Satan’s demons.


This process above of preliminary meditation, processing emotionally, and 12 step taking out the garbage is the beginning of your reformation into healthy emotions.  Now you know your character defect patterns of blame.  You know what denial is, and that fear is not evil except it be the spirit of fear, demonic.  You know you can obtain deliverance by the laying on of hands and prayer.  You know that by meditation and resistance demons can be expelled.  Hopefully you have allowed yourself to feel pain and learned how to let it out by screaming, crying but also there is a thing called “guttural sounds” that harness pains far to intense for tears to carry out.  Groan out the worst of your pain.  It works & expels anxiety.  Usually men won’t embark on this process.  Women are more attuned to allow it.  False pride keeps men bottled up and the crap comes out sideways at those they love most.  But when its dysfunction and blame that is screeching out condemnations the pain is not expelled.

Continue and Advance in mediation.

It could take a year or more to get to the point where you can concentrate on one mantra and then finally allow your mind to just be.  Empty and to see and listen.  No thoughts at all just seeing, listening, hearing, and travelling.  At this place of peace you can now hear the voice of God more clearly.

Talk to God.  He will use your own mind’s voice to communicate with you.  God will not invade your space by His own voice most likely. This is why He uses your own mind’s voice, you are giving Him permission to speak to you.


NEVER speak badly of yourself again.  Never criticize yourself.  If you offend, make amends but do not put yourself down anymore.  Your are good.  If the sentence starts with “I am” it should be something positive.

Do one thing every day to improve your new spiritual condition.  Whether it be a meeting or writing, or reading a meditation book that builds you up and encourages you.  Spiritual uplifting exercises can be a walk in the woods or a trip to the beach if you have a peaceful atmosphere.

You are at the listening and viewing point of Meditation if you have mastered concentration on just one thing and have seen your mind empty of burdens.

I used to get to this point and see a cross or a triangle surrounded by black and stars.  For me the symbols stood for Jesus and 12 step recovery which were my religion at that time.  Once I saw those symbols I walked through a dimensional portal with my minds eye and had visions.  Beautiful colorful visions.  Medications can hinder this, I advise a med-free meditation if possible.

I had so many beautiful meditations through the years.  Some that stuck with me for life.  Some that I put in my book Paradise for the Hellbound.

My 2016 Great Awakening

I had a great awakening recently that is a direct connection to end times.  Many others have had great awakenings since 2016 and believe we are in end times.

Once I had the awakening my meditation and prayer increased dramatically.

I was led to quit eating processed food and meat all together, save some organic crackers and cheese, & coffee but I have omitted all the plastic by making coffee with steeping & straining method in glass.

My skin has changed dramatically to smooth and subtle. My feet have healed.  My bowels work properly now.   My health has improved vastly.  I lost 60 lbs of fat and bloat without trying.  Gray hair disappeared.  I started making body butter and no longer use toxic products for skin and haircare.  God led me through all these changes starting in 2016.

The Great End Times Awakening of 2016-2019

I am not talking about being born again or receiving the Holy Spirit because those things happened to me with great evidence years ago.  No, this awakening me and other people are having is directly connected to end times.  As I and others that experience it are seeking end times prophecies, dreams, and visions of others sharing on Youtube.  Many of us quit watching regular TV all together.  We are tired of being brainwashed and programmed.  What this is is a renewing, God has poured out His Spirit upon all flesh.  It is a preparation for His return.  It is evidence that we are in end times.  The dreams and visions have come upon God’s people and they are sharing on Youtube.  People are having common dreams.  Christians are being led by the Spirit in a much bigger way than ever before.  Christians who left the faith have been renewed.


The strong delusion is here.  Only the few know and see it.  If you do not know what it is, pray ye not be deceived.  And repent like we all do off all sin, do not allow any lie to come out of you ever.  Put on the whole armor of God.  You will see the strong delusion as the lost sheep file into it as if walking into a cloud of comfort for them.  Todays end times TRUTH is uncomfortable, the signs and wonders are miraculous, but the deceptive signs given by Satan when seen will bust your entire paradigm of reality they are that intense.  If you don’t have the emotional tools to cope with hard Truth you may choose the delusion.  DON’T.  Do the process.  I am certain since we are in end times God will quantify the process of healing and deliverance for you that you may see through the delusion if you humble yourself before Him and make the effort.

Visualization is a huge part of remote viewing and healing oneself.

Lie on the bed, close your eyes, and look inside yourself.  You will see microorganisms.    Use Prayer in the Spirit to bind any organisms that are invaders. Edgar Casey used this skill for others and received cures for them.  You have by now learned to listen to God.  He will either give you a holistic cure such as clove, wormwood, or other herb remedies for parasites.  Or you will bind them with your God given power as you visualize their destruction in whatever way feels natural for you.

Picture yourself blowing up these microorganisms, or run them through with a sword of gold, put them in a chest and send them to hell but you can clean your entire blood system and intestinal tract and more by remote viewing and visualization of their demise.

Your meditation will progress further and further giving you more and more insight into what you need to know.

How do you know the difference between vain imaginings and true spiritual warfare?  If its good & healthy for you it lines up with God’s precepts.

Clean house, do not harm is the rule.

You can visualize and call out an army of microscopic warriors to clean your system’s blood and functions.  Believe, believe, believe.  Your are scripturally entitled to HEALING BY JESUS.

Oh but not like that, you may say…..then how?  If not YOU then who?

It’s time you realized who you are in Christ Jesus and step into your power.  Practice and keep practicing.  Do not give up.

ABOVE ALL THINGS be forthright with God. Father wants people who take off the mask and get real with Him.  (show respect in Truth)  People who know His Great Value to us.  Ask for faith if you need it.

God will teach you step by step and form you if you allow it.  Desire His presence.  Rejoice in The Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

When things get rough give thanks aloud, this is one of your most volatile weapons.  Give thanks aloud to Jesus.


If you need more guidance please read Paradise for the Hellbound


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